Justice with Feet of Clay

There is an interesting story from Court TV about a judge in Oklahoma who is about to be tried for masturbating in court. Apparently there are eye witnesses who will swear that he exposed himself and used a "penis pump" while sitting on the bench. After being subjected to the OJ trial, the Michael Jackson trial, and the trials surrounding ENRON, who could blame him for seeking to "amuse" himself while the lawyers were busy doing what lawyers do? Certainly not me.



I have long since come to terms with the realization that our so-called leaders all walk on feet of clay. Whoever thinks otherwise is just being foolish.

Here in Britain we have become quite used to sex scandals concerning our political leaders. One has to be very careful not to get trampled by the rush of the Sanctimonious to the nearest soap-box where they shout out their shock and outrage for the ever-hungry media.

Concerning this case, I am reminded of the scene in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town" (1936), where Longfellow Deeds (Gary Cooper) is explaing why he plays the tuba:


Longfellow Deeds: About my playing the tuba. Seems like a lot of fuss has been made about that. If, if a man's crazy just because he plays the tuba, then somebody'd better look into it, because there are a lot of tuba players running around loose. 'Course, I don't see any harm in it. I play mine whenever I want to concentrate. That may sound funny to some people, but everybody does something silly when they're thinking. For instance, the judge here is, is an O-filler.

Judge May: A what?

Longfellow Deeds: An O-filler. You fill in all the spaces in the O's with your pencil. I was watching him. [general laughter]

Longfellow Deeds: That may make you look a little crazy, Your Honor, just, just sitting around filling in O's, but I don't see anything wrong, 'cause that helps you think. Other people are doodlers.

Judge May: "Doodlers"?

Longfellow Deeds: Uh, that's a word we made up back home for people who make foolish designs on paper when they're thinking: it's called doodling. Almost everybody's a doodler; did you ever see a scratchpad in a telephone booth? People draw the most idiotic pictures when they're thinking. Uh, Dr. von Hallor here could probably think up a long name for it, because he doodles all the time. [general laughter; he takes a sheet off the doctor's notepad]


Longfellow Deeds: Thank you. This is a piece of paper he was scribbling on. I can't figure it out - one minute it looks like a chimpanzee, and the next minute it looks like a picture of Mr. Cedar. You look at it, Judge. Exhibit A for the defense. Looks kind of stupid, doesn't it, Your Honor? But I guess that's all right; if Dr. von Hallor has to, uh, doodle to help him think, that's his business. Everybody does something different: some people are, are ear-pullers; some are nail-biters; that, uh, Mr. Semple over there is a nose-twitcher. [general laughter]

Longfellow Deeds: And the lady next to him is a knuckle-cracker. [general laughter]

Longfellow Deeds: So you see, everybody does silly things to help them think. Well, I play the tuba.

OK, so perhaps it might be prudent to discover if this judge's decisions were influenced by his little distractions (if indeed the allegations prove to be true), or if anyone has suffered any kind of serious trauma as a result of his under-the-bench amusements, but I hardly think we should rush to judgement.

That's about it for today. I am about to make myself a drink, slip into something a little more comfortable, and play with my tuba...although that O-filling thing sounds pretty tempting.