Personal: Nicknames

I hate nicknames. I never had one when I was a kid and I don't have one now. "Lafindboy" is a nom de plume...not a nickname. But we all seem to give certain parts of our bodies nicknames. Today's blog is about that.

I call mine "Pete". I think this is because "Peter" was one of the acceptable nicknames for the penis. We never heard the words "Penis" or "Vagina" when I was a kid. I always thought that they were purely medical terms.

Most couples have terms of edearment for their respective organs. At the present time "Pete" is enamoured of a certain "Mrs Tiggywinkle". Good luck to the little chap I say...and to the little chapette.

We often speak of these particular organs in the third person, as if they had lives of their own. I have grown rather fond of "Pete" over the years. Of course, like most best friends, he has occasionaly let me down but I don't beat him up about it.


Women also have nicknames for their little best friends. These are not the crude and vulgar names that puerile low-lifes use in what passes for manly conversation. They are often affectionate and humorous and very personal. I love "Mrs Tiggwinkle" and I can honestly say I have met no other "Mrs Tiggywinkle's" on my lifes journey.

One thing, here in England, that struck me as particularly sweet was the first time I ever heard a woman refer to hers as her "Front Bottom". Not so much a nickname as a geographical location. This term was probably handed down from Victorian days and has become an acceptable and proper way for a lady to refer to her private parts. Those were the days. I am sure that, in their private moments, even the Victorians had their secret nicknames for their little treasures.

So, in closing, I would just like to say adieu to all those Willies, Dicks, Langers, One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, Big Drippers, Lap Lizards and Tiny Tims out there. And an ever friendlier good-bye to all those Pussies, Beavers, Cooches, Jelly Rolls and Nookies.

If anyone is offended by today's little ramble well all I can say is this: Don't get your nickers in a twist.